Apr 19, 2012
Feb 23, 2012
My biggest hurdle right now is the fact that our convention season is starting and our biggest party of the year is fast approaching -- five days over Easter weekend. And the deadline for the Crypticon writing contest is shortly thereafter. If I want to get the TWO submissions done I've set my sights on, then I need to manage my time a little more wisely and stop procrastinating. I also need to start putting more faith in myself and start believing in my own talent. If other people, including those who are proven in the industry, think I've got the stuff it takes... why is it so hard for /me/ to believe it as well? I need to get over it already, it's gone past the point of quirk and is now into the holding-me-back and embarrassing realm.
Like this blog for example. I have ... no readers. None. Yet I post to it as if I do have some, pretend that someone will stumble upon it and find my words interesting, take up some stock in my struggle to find my own voice and win the war that is finishing a novel and continue to follow my sporadic and often rambling postings.... yet I don't do anything like oh, I don't know mention the fact that I have a blog to anyone. I'm embarrassed by promoting myself, about talking about my accomplishments like I'm some sort of braggart. And it doesn't help when I get teased or made fun of by the people who are supposed to be supporting me the most, like I've gotten some huge, uncontrollable ego since I've had one short story published.
Where was I going with this? Oh right -- I need to find a balance between the required day job, the duties of Biohazard, the household things I have to do and my writing. I need to make it a priority and make it important... because it is, at least to me. I need to take my writing and myself as an author seriously. I need to stop assuming that everything that comes out of my creative process is utter crap and start having some faith. And I definitely need to start finishing some projects. Like the current short story. And the next one.
And I need to do all of this sooner rather than later.
Jan 19, 2012
I can be found at the Biohazard Party on both Friday and Saturday nights.
Follow me on Twitter.com/amairedinsmore for updates throughout the weekend and I'll see you on Monday!
'via Blog this'
There is a special connection between myself and my daughter. It is for her that I want to send the strongest message, so that she grows up loving and respecting herself before anything else. I want her to learn to expect the best from herself, challenge herself and know that no matter what she is strong enough to get through anything. I want her to know without hesitation that she is loved and supported and I want her to be happy, healthy and successful in accomplishing her dreams. My Ash, my miracle baby.
As for Jager... he's my baby too... and much more needy than my little girl.
Jan 18, 2012
The project I was so excited about ... well, lost steam. It has nothing to do with anything other than it simply wasn't working. So in a moment of sheer genius (if I do say so myself) the thought occured to me that combining this idea with another I had started to develop... just might work. And so far it is working. Better than I previous thought possible. I am going to need to change the way I'm looking at this but so far that's been easy enough.
I can only keep working and see what happens from here!
And yes, I am a complete dork.
But I'm trying.... that counts for something right?
Jan 10, 2012
A positive review of constructive criticisim? Whew. When I put those chapters up I knew they weren't publish-ready (not by a gorram mile) but that they were a good representation of the rough draft work in progress.
What was I expecting? Certianly not this. More laughed off the internet, perhaps. Politely asked never to submit again, maybe. A sarcastic flame, definitely.
This is actually something I can take and use to my advantage, something that may just solve the start and stop problems I have been facing with the flow.
Now I know, my dear invisible readers, that one review a successful plan does not make. But its a positive step in the right (write?) direction and I intend to take as much of the positive energy as I can get and use it to my advantage.
Stay tuned, lovlies, for this fantastic mood to be reversed at any moment!
Happy reading to you.
Jan 9, 2012
I have a whole different feeling about this one though and that's entirely a good thing. I can see the plot through to the end and feel good about it without trying to force new ideas in there.
Breath held, I'll get this finished before the world goes up in December. Cause even if it never sees the light of day beyond my own computer, it'll still be something I finished.
Also: registered for Book Country... let's see how that does for me, shall we?
For now, I am concentrating on getting this story out of my head so these characters can flourish.
Daily writing goal: 1000 words minimum
Current project: Young Adult Fantasy
Current total: 10,682
Oct 13, 2011
Jun 15, 2011
But alas, I do not have a choice. The day job must be done and I have to fit the real world somewhere in my writing. Problem is that the real world has been silencing the creativity and I can't allow that to continue... not if I want to see this project finished.
Between days like these and days where I have all the time in the world but no gumption to write at all, isn't there some sort of happy medium?
May 31, 2011
But if I want to be an author, I have to get over it and get over myself. Either I'll do good or I won't. But in the meantime I'm going to write what I want and what's inside of me. So far it's done me pretty good.
I didn't win the writing contest -- the one that got me published. But I'm first in the Honorable Mention category which I figure is fourth place. I was told there were 30 to 40 entries in the contest and only six stories made it in the book... Not to bad, right?
My only problem now is marketing. I bought a bunch of copies but now I feel like a douche asking people to buy them.... There has got to be something wrong with me.